There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
