i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
