Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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