TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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