y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
