fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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