im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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