I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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