im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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