found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
