I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
