The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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