would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
