drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
