just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
