I puked a lego.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't deserve a penis
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
