we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
