Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
