remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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