note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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