Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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