there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
