Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize