based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
