There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
