well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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