I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
