is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
