More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
