Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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