we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
