the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
