everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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