Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
