I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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