508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
