ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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