Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize