do herpes really smell.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
