Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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