the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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