It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
