rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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