Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
