i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
