I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
