Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
