just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
