I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ugly people sure do ruin things
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
