Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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