Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
