Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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