i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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