i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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